“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” Audrey Hepburn.
One of the biggest obstacles which women face is “Girl on Girl Hate”. The #GirlLoveChallenge created by U tube Vlogger Lilly Singh is aimed to tackle Girl On Girl Hate by encouraging women to compliment other women using #hashtags. All revenue from the video will be donated to the Malala Fund, which supports educating girls around the world.
Many people must be wondering; what is the point of the campaign? What ultimate goal do we achieve? It is startlingly easy to share the video, to share the hashtag … but what good does it really do?
The fact that it brings attention to Girl on Girl Hate is reason enough to share this video
Women competition and jealousy is something which people have often misconstrued as an innate women quality, a “way of life” if you will.
The campaign focuses on everyday women. It is the women in our everyday lives; who we went to high school with, university, work, family members and females within our community. It’s natural for everyone… whether you’re a man or a woman to feel a bit insecure around successful, talented, extraordinary people.
But it has become all too common for women to not just feel insecure but threatened by other women, as if another woman’s beauty, grace, style, talent takes away from your own. THAT IS JUST WRONG. If anything, other women should encourage us, empower us to step up our own game and want to flourish in what is still essentially “a man’s world”. Instead of thinking… “Why is she so pretty?” “Why is she so smart” “Why is she so popular?” just admire the fact there are women out there who we can all look up to and inspire us (even in the small simple ways.)
Instead of explaining Girl on Girl Hate through “ordinary woman behavior.” Let us analyze four basic reasons why this manifests:
One of the main reasons we may look at women as rivals is fear. Fear we will loose that special edge that makes us unique. We already feel the intense pressure to stand out in a sea of men (a feat still only a minority of women are able to achieve). We want to be seen as individual or “special”.
This has sometimes led to the logic that in order to be respected we need to triumph over all the women around us to show we are “exceptional, unique women”. But if there are women similar to us we suddenly think we are no longer a “special snowflake “but an “ordinary country pumpkin”. Now this is just sad.
So for all those women out there who already acknowledge you are beautiful/talented/smart/popular/creative please stop feeling intimidated when you see, meet or compete with someone who is similarly beautiful/talented/smart/popular/creative.
Instead of worrying whether this new acquaintance in your life is going to steal your thunder… embrace the fact there is another woman like you!! She is most likely capable of being empathetic or sympathetic with many of the troubles you face in life. If you focused that energy,effort and time you spend worrying about this women into admiring her as a fellow sister soul then you will be a much happier and productive person!
Why is this even a reason? Unfortunately, many females unconsciously or consciously value themselves according to the insults or compliments of men ( as well as what they think and say about other women. ) IF a man allows you or makes you feel inferior to another woman then obviously you should not have a problem with this woman in question. You should actually have a problem with the man who makes you feel this way!! The very fact he purposely or even accidentally pits you against another woman resulting in you having angry feelings towards a third party, only shows how easily you can be manipulated. Again, all the more reason to stop Girl on Girl hate . Spread the love with compliments to other women to build each others confidence up!
In 2015, only half of the world’s working-age women are in the labor force, compared to 77 percent of working-age men. Women with full-time jobs still earn only about 77 percent of their male counterparts’ earnings. This means that women have to work approximately 60 extra days, or about three months, to earn what men did by the end of the previous year.
Clearly, women have to struggle more than men to be respected and valued in the workplace. Once again this can lead to throbbing female competition especially in the office just to get ahead.
This is a difficult to try and change. We feel we are fighting for our careers -not just to be noticed. But ultimately ,if we want more gender equality in the workplace, we need to be promoting and demanding more equality in the office, promotions for women who deserve it . We need to push for less discrimination against women based on fact they may leave the workforce for marriage or to raise a family. As women, we know exactly the struggles faced by others in their careers. We don’t need to be best friends with female counterparts at work. But there needs to start being a level of respect among us. Because if we can’t respect one… another how can we expect men to respect us?
4) Strong, Independent Woman
A growing problem that spurs Girl on Girl Hate is the idealized version of “the strong, independent woman”. She is fundamentally a very moralistic, virtuous person who at the same time is modernized and free spirited. Not only is she multi-talented she is super friendly to everyone.
Who is this girl? A myth! She is a mold of a woman which doesn’t exist. Ironic, we think we have the license to belittle anyone girl who doesn’t measure up to these standard (every girl essentially!)
Many women instinctively like to put down a certain types of women we don’t agree with: such The Kim Kardashians (for their sexual public image), the Miley Cyrus’s (for their sheer craziness) and even the Taylor Swifts (for being just too damn romantic) in the world.
Maybe we might not agree with a woman’s choice but we need to learn to respect their vision without giving our unwarranted opinions.
This is actually a trait we could learn from our male counterparts… they are notoriously known for keeping boundaries and not trying to hold men to ever changing standards of moral behavior. This is something I greatly admire. For instance,If a girl wants to drink and party all night or stay in all day…let her! If someone’s ambition is to quit their careers and become a full time mum or solely focus on her career… respect her! If your own friends want to dress a little proactively or dress completely conservatively… embrace her!
Think of it in this way… How frequently do you hear men been called a slut, provactive, wild, immoral by other men? Now… compare that to the frequency you hear woman call woman these things!
We don’t realize how damaging and degrading our actions are when we openly insult these women. We are not just insulting one women or one type of woman but all of us collectively! Because in the end of the day, it isn’t these women with “unsavory characteristics” not deemed “womanly enough” which give women a bad name. It is those women who consider themselves public judges and juries on appropriate womanly behavior… THEY ARE THE ONES WHO TRULY DEGRADE WOMANKIND!
We already go through so much in life, in terms of discrimination and unfairness… as little girls, then young women, and some as mothers. Don’t add to the problems fellow women go through. Ask yourselves… do you want to be the person who teaches the future generation of women to be cat fight with each other instead of focusing ON THEIR OWN STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES?
Is that what you want to teach your future daughter? Or do you want to break the cycle and create a world where any girl is accepted? Because I know I do. And there are others who want to break the cycle too.
Hopefully the #GirlLoveChallenge will really help make a difference. If our generation of women is lost… then at least for the next! So please spread the love, spread the message and watch the video.
This post is dedicated to every woman out there but in particular to my friend Sachini. Thank you for spreading faith and love to women everywhere while still being flawless and fabulous.
Many women know how to inspire… but few have the courage to empower
. I wish every woman had your effortless ability to encourage and embrace others and accept other women for who they are… not who they want that woman to be!!!